The Wicked and the Just

I stumbled on this book when I was looking for other books like "The Dark Unwinding". Let me start off by saying they are not similar books (other than the fact that the heroines are around the same age).

Here is the Amazon synopsis: Cecily’s father has ruined her life. He’s moving them to occupied medieval Wales, where the king needs good strong Englishmen to keep down the vicious Welshmen. At least Cecily will finally be the lady of the house. Gwenhwyfar knows all about that house. Once she dreamed of being the lady there herself, until the English destroyed the lives of everyone she knows. Now she must wait hand and foot on this bratty English girl. While Cecily struggles to find her place among the snobby English landowners, Gwenhwyfar struggles just to survive. And outside the city walls, tensions are rising ever higher—until finally they must reach the breaking point.

Ok so I was excited that the main character's name was Cecily, until you start to realize she is a spoiled brat. Then I expected Gwenhwyfar to be her counter and to be the good one but again you realize she is also a brat. That said, I liked the story. I knew nothing of the history of that time period in Wales. It was really interesting.  And as always I am amazed at how unkind mankind can be to each other especially in a world where they are working for mere survival. Oh and the book is a bit challenging to read at least in the beginning because they use a lot of Welsh words and the sentence structure and even the cadence of the writing is just a little foreign.

All that said I would recommend this book if you are interested in learning about the history of the time period or just want an interesting read. I wouldn't say run out and read it because it is not going on my top 10 but I probably will still read it again someday. It just isn't a super happy read because it is more about human nature at its worst. Also it doesn't have a real solid ending (which is true to life but leaves you wanting a bit). However I feel like one character, at least, redeems herself in the end. You will have to read it to find out which one:)    

The Dark Unwinding and A Spark Unseen

Jeanette was the one who first told me about The Dark Unwinding. She said she had found a Steampunk book that she was excited to read. I read it with her because I thought it looked like a fast read and would be fun to talk about. I was going to put the Amazon synopsis on here but I think it gives too much away (especially if I included the second book's synopsis before you read the first). Basically it is a Gothic Steampunk romance and the fun is in not knowing what it is about.

I really really enjoyed it! The characters were varied and interesting. The setting was elaborate and fantastical. The story was unique and unpredictable. I would say this author has a gift for creativity. However what she does not have a gift for is dialogue. I felt like the interactions between the characters were weak and did not promote the relationships that were forming. I felt like I was rounding out relationship details as I went along in my head. If I was her editor I would have made her go back and fill in some conversations. Also it read like a movie especially at the end, lots of unnecessary destruction. Additionally she was a heroine that I did not usually relate to, which is fine, I simply was not always in her cheering section.

The second book has a story as interesting as the first but it was told in only a matter of a few days, had some gaps that could have been filled in to make it better, killed off a character I adored, and made me question how great her relationship was to the man she liked. However again I didn't see everything coming and I was interested and read quickly. And like the first book I quite often thought what she was doing was not how I would have handled the situation at all. Additionally there was more unnecessary destruction that would make for a great movie.    

So overall a fun read when you have a few spare hours and want something entertaining and not too taxing on your brain. I would love to visit any of her book settings! And wear the fancy clothes:)

I would be interested to hear what you have to say on the subject Jeanette?!

(Oh and on a side note, I thought it was interesting how Katharine counted in her mind in certain scenes. It kind of bugged me and yet it helped slow the scene into a sort of slow motion and put you in her place. I have a couple more things to say after you have read the book, I don't want to spoil it!)

Constance

We read this book for book club in the month of November because one of the ladies in our group said she loves to read it every Thanksgiving. It was not what I expected. From the cover I thought it would be more of a young Laura Ingalls Wilder tale but a reviewer on the back cover described it as a historical romance. I think it is somewhere in the middle. It covers the span of six years and is predominately not a romance. Although she does kiss more boys than I thought people of that era did;)

What I really liked about the book was how much it made me think about what it would have been like to live there (and how utterly hopeless I would have felt at times). I also learned a lot of history and I love that in a book! What I didn't always like was Constance. I felt like she teetered between being a silly girl and a strong woman. Even in the last two entries she was saying silly things and I was hoping she would grow out of it. However it wasn't bad enough to be distracting, I just couldn't always root for her.

Over all I would say for sure read this book at least once. It is an easy book and you will learn a lot. I loved her step-mom and her dad. They were both great characters for different reasons. Here are some quotes I liked from the book:

   "...there are many times when a woman needs someone to talk to....there are other times when a woman has thoughts she cannot share with anyone, and yet she must needs rid herself of them, if only to see them more clearly."  (p.16)

"Believe me, Con, my belly and my backbone have become close friends." (p. 102)

"Perhaps 'home' can be where one comes from, as well as where one lives." (p.112) So true!

The love discussion on page 164 and the WillofGod discussion on page 176 (I am too tired to type the entire paragraph of each. Sorry.)

I hope you read it and I hope you enjoy it.

123 Magic

This is a review of a DVD i watched that is also a book.

The man who wrote the book has a system of discipline where you give the kid 3 counts and then send them to timeout. The counts are given for "stop behaviors". These include screaming, whining, arguing, tantruming, etc. You should not give them counts if you ask them to do something and they don't do it, that is a "start behavior".  His two rules for using the three counts are that you don't talk to your children and you don't get emotional. You say, "That's one (5seconds) thats two (5seconds) that's three go to timeout" and then you usher if needed the child to timeout. Do not say anything or get emotional about it. Children are in timeout for one minute per year old they are. If the offense is severe (swearing, hitting, breaking an item) then you add five minutes to their normal time. He suggests the no talking because parents do a talk, persuade, argue, yell, hit routine with children and this was created to stop that. he suggests not getting emotional because then your children fear you or receive a "reward" in making you upset. he said that children feel inferior and like to see how they can make effect on the world around them. This is why they like to throw rocks in a pond, they get a big splash. He suggests that a yelling father or stressed out mother is a splash. If you talk to your children it creates a reason to fight you back. As children get older they will try to reason their way out of it. Start the timer once the child is in timeout and not tantruming (if applicable). If they leave timeout before the time is out, start over.

He suggested that adults have a "little adult" view of children and expect them to listen to reason and remember that when they got in trouble for doing an activity they will remember to not do it again. He stated, "The role of a caregiver of children should be titled Wild Animal Trainer". Children do not listen to reason at a young age, they listen to their own splash. 

When children test and manipulate you they are trying to get their way through emotional pressure. This is where many parents of today give in. Keep your cool and don't give in. Give them counts for badgering you, physically acting out, or threatening you.

My thoughts while watching this were at first as if a giant load was being lifted off my shoulder. If all i have to do is say, "that's one, that's two, etc" then i would lose a lot of persuading and stress. Disciplining is very taxing when you have a smart and determined child. I felt i could use this method and feel good about my mothering at the end of the day. I sat my 3 year old down and told him we would be starting this method and showed him his timeout spot, a carpet by the front door away from any distractions. It worked! Most times i only have to get to 1 and he stops the behavior immediatly. There are occasions when he has decided he is going to do the behavior and doesn't fully understand the reason why it can't be done. Or he just feels like stretching his lungs out. Where the feelings and emotions are real and I don't want to teach him to not have them, the method of their release does need to be taught as unacceptable. Once he realizes that having a tantrum about the fact that i peeled the banana and he wanted to is unacceptable, then I teach him that he can use his words and talk to me. I forgot a key thing in this 123 magic method is that when the kid comes back from timeout you DON'T TALK ABOUT IT. You move on with what you were doing. For most kids they have already forgotten what happened and have moved on/ forgiven you for committing the heinous crime of peeling open a banana for them. I like this part of the method. I would always try and explain to my child and ask, "why were you in timeout?" And i would get frustrated that he would seriously give me a confused look like that was so years ago.

One issue i take or question i ask is, what is the point of a timeout? If it is to make the child feel "bad" for what they did, then I will say my 3 year old never feels remorse for more than 20 seconds. Is it to remove the child from freedom and entertainment? Then i will say my 3 year old finds entertainment in 10 seconds with anything he can get his hands on (clothes included). Is it to give them time to reflect on what just happend? Then i would say my 3 year old does not have the mental ability to reflect. I assume that the purpose of the timeout is so the child sees that if they behave in a way, the parent takes control. It is a type of punishment that is not beating them, yelling at them, taking away a prized item of theirs, etc. It is a "if you do this, there is a consequence". To that i say, ok.

So it is working for me. The timer is started over several times until my 3 year old finally just lays down on the carpet. And as i said i usually only have to say "that's one". I have developed my own counting method to get my children to do "start behaviors". My husband gets sick when he sees parents count to three to get their children to do something and then never follow through. So we have adopted the countdown method. We say "you can put your dishes in the table or i will in 5..4..3..2..1" and then we do it. With a boy who is growing independent this is a gold mine. He wants to do everything by himself and melts down if you do something (the peeled banana). And we are sure to follow through and do it if we get to one so he knows we mean business. I am all for teaching your kids and explaining things to them so they understand, but i think i will expect them to listen and understand when they are older, like 8 or something.

Happy

This is not a book but a documentary on Netflix or Amazon. It is called "Happy" and it documents people from around the world and interviews psychiatrists and psychologists on what makes people happy. I loved it!  It was very enlightening. A couple of highlights:

*aerobic exercise increases your dopamine and is equivalent to "shooting up with drugs". Dopamine is your happy juice that tells your brain that you are happy.

*the minute after birth the first thing you do is nurse. You have no idea who your mother is but you trust her to provide your first and essential need in life. Your mother, in turn, also has no idea who you are but sacrifices to give you your most essential need in life. So we are compassionate and loving people.

*The five things that were common among their findings of happy people were 1)playing 2)doing something meaningful 3)having new experiences 4) friends and families 5)appreciating things.

A must see!

The A.D.D. Nutrition Solution

I got this book to assist in my education of A.D.D. as we are concerned Daniel is showing signs. I really enjoyed reading this book and found it enlightening and insightful. I made sure to take her points and theories with a grain of salt and not get too "carried away" by them. I wanted to make my own decisions about what I believed and would adopt as my own. For instance, she insists on switching soy milk for cow milk for various reasons and I personally believe in drinking real milk and have familial issues with soy. She also suggests taking several supplements and that is too many pills to swallow for me :)

She begins the book by discussing what A.D.D. is, how it presents itself in children and adults, and how it is dealt with by doctors and families. She explains the symptoms of the two types (my lucky husband has both) and details what is normal child behavior and what is A.D.D. This was good for me in helping to determine if my child was presenting signs of A.D.D. In discussing the current treatments of A.D.D. and AD/HD she points out their flaws. One of which is that parents and teachers alike think of drugs as miracle pills and they don't have to make any modifications to their lifestyle or teaching methods. Convenient.

She discusses the make up of the ADD brain and the things that make it different from a non ADD brain. This was fascinating! When you eat sugar, your body produces insulin to distribute the sugar evenly to your body. The brain is the last to get its share and in non ADD brains there are two hormones that allow the insulin to calm down and give the brain the sugar it needs. In the ADD brain these two hormones are deficient and the brain does not get its needed sugar. Therefore, the ADD child becomes hyper active or risk taking to get those hormones working properly to allow the sugar in. Very interesting.

After defining true ADD and AD/HD, she gives her nutritional solution to stop aggravation of the symptoms or keeping them in control. She discusses artificial sweeteners and what they do to your body. She discusses carbohydrates, fats, fatty acids, etc. Her main points of what you need to eat are:

*Stay away from additives as much as possible (she explains what they do to the brain functions)
*Eat proteins for breakfast
*Eat foods in season to maximize their nutrients (tomatoes in season (summer) are deep red because they contain lycopene which protect the skin from UV light, tomatoes red out of season are injected with additives)
*Avoid sugar as much as poosible, try honey molasses or fruit sweetner
*Eat proteins as they are essential for brain cell communication and ADD people have poor protein digesting capabilities.
*Eat more fruit than just apples, bananas, and oranges (mangoes, pineapple, berries, cherries, melons)
*Increase your intake of DHA Omega 3 and 6 fatty acids, this is what your brain is mostly made of.
*She is a proponent for nursing as no formula currently (1999) has any of the fatty acids and LCP's which are deficient in the ADD brain.
* Because our fish is not ocean fresh and our meat is corn fed, this causes our intake of essential fatty acids down 50% of what they were 60 years ago, so buy organic and local as much as possible to ensure natural nutrients.
*Allergies are rampant in individuals with ADD and a natural anti histamine can be found in pine bark and grape seed extract. Taking these will result in increased attention and reduced hyperactivity.

A lot of main points, I know. These are mostly my main points I have taken away from the book. She discusses in depth all her reasons for and studies proving these suggestions will effect the ADD brain. It is good information if you or one in your family has these symptoms or in general for good health. Just don't get too caught up in everything she suggests because living in the world we live in it is virtually impossible to get all the nutrients you need and stay away from all the harmful additives and sugar. I have tried diets and it is way too much work and are drastic changes to our current eating habits. Just be aware and make better and healthier options. I can already say that having eggs and bacon or sausage for breakfast instead of cereal and milk has made many a boy happy at my house, and I'm happy too:)

P.S. We are thinking about raising our own chickens for eggs!